Is the Grass Really Greener on the Other Side?

So I'm still working on the design for this particular blog...so if you notice it looks a little different this time it's because I'm still playing with the formatting.

This last week was a tough one to say the least. Some weeks I'm confident in my decision to work full time and keep all three kids in daycare. Other weeks I know I'm doing something wrong...

I work 36 hours a week for a small construction company as the contract administrator. When you take into account what I pay for childcare, after taxes and health insurance I bring home a whopping $8.00 a month...yes, I did say MONTH (it's not a typo)! After weeks like this I just have to ask myself why?

The week started on the wrong foot when I woke up Monday with very little voice. By Tuesday, not only did I feel like crap, but my three-year old couldn't hear me yelling at her to put her shoes on. Jeff finally made me go to the doctor since I've been fighting what I insisted was allergies for more than two weeks. Result? Bronchitis and a sinus infection for which I needed over $80 worth of prescriptions. Part of the money pulled from my paycheck each week for health insurance goes to an HSA account...unfortunately, it takes one to two weeks for it to actually be available for me to use. (We're still paying off medical bills for when the twins were in the NICU, so money doesn't stay in the account long since we get "reminder" notices weekly-at a minimum). Needless to say, paying for the prescriptions was a pain (to put it politely).  Luckily some prescription cough medicine induced sleep has me feeling a little better now.

I find it's always when I feel the worst that the kids are the most difficult. They must be able to smell weakness.  Sully and Finley are both teething. In fact, Finley's first tooth finally broke the surface this week (YAY FINNEY!). The only problem with this is that, like their older sister, they both get ear infections fairly frequently. It's been hard to tell if they're pulling on their ears because they hurt or because they just have ears. Throw in the normal fussiness of teething and we're constantly on the fence considering a trip to the doctor. This particular week we added in a day of pasty poop and a blistery red bottom (aka "monkey butt") so I gave in and hauled them both in to the pediatrician's office. Result? Nothing! Finley might have had a little GI issue causing the pasty poops. The doc suggested that I keep them both home the following day because Finley was pooping and Sully might poop. Now why would I keep my kid home-what are the actual symptoms?  Is she throwing up? Nope.  Does she have diarrhea? Nope. Is she refusing to eat? Nope-eating like a little horse.  Is she acting sick? Nope. Does she have a fever? Nope. And why in the world would I keep Sully home because he "might" get what his sister has.  If I were to use that logic I might as well never leave the house again!

Work is definitely work. Some days I love my job while others I...don't. I miss my kids when I'm at work and when I take time off I worry about all the stuff piling up on my desk. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing both jobs half-ass. I'm typically an all or nothing kind of girl. I'm not sure it's fair to anyone.

Once again I find myself torn between continuing as a full time working mom and staying home. There are so many pros and cons to each choice. They say the grass is always greener on the other side-in my case, I wonder if it really is...

$2.00 Drama

It's amazing the little things that can set off a three year old.  Seriously, if you've never had a three year old, you wouldn't know...I don't think I ever did.  I have come to the conclusion that the age of three is WAY worse than two!  My sister too has three kids.  When they were younger I remember watching her oldest son throw some pretty wild tantrums.  When he was little I was still in college, so I was pretty clueless.  I remember thinking "why doesn't she just give him what he wants" (yes, like I said, clueless).

Mother's Day is just a few days away and (like all holidays-big or small) daycare is having a party, "Muffins with Mom".  As usual, Piper needed $2.00 to contribute for art supplies for a gift and the cost of the breakfast food.  I think they must be learning a little bit about money at daycare-because Piper's little ears perked up when I asked Jeff yesterday if he had any singles that I could take with me to give her teacher.  She just had to know where her two dollars were so we carefully placed them on the kitchen counter before bedtime.

This morning we got up and went through our usual routine.  Piper remembered the money before we got in the van.  Now, I don't think I've ever seen a child more excited about two dollars than she was this morning.  She showed it to everyone one our way into the building this morning, Miss Renee, some random dad, Miss Monica, Miss Theresa, and (finally) Miss Vicky, her teacher.  Miss Vicky took the money and crossed her name off the list.  I spent my usual couple of minutes sitting with Piper and we said our good-byes and I went on to work...

Flash forward nine hours to 5:00 pm...aka, The Pick-Up.  She gave me the best greeting as she ran across the room shrieking "Moooooooommmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyy. Of course, when she reached my arms I said "Piiiippppppeeeeerrrrrrrr!!!!!" and picked her up and lifted her over my head.  It's a pretty regular greeting that I look forward to-especially after a very long Monday.  The long awaited greeting was immediately followed by "where's my two dollars".  Apparently, she had absolutely no recollection of giving the money to Miss Vicky.  Here's the rest of the conversation:

Piper: "can I have my two dollars?"

Me: "no, remember you gave it to Miss Vicky"

Piper: "is it in your pocket"

Me: "no, it's not in my pocket"

Piper: "is it in the van"

Me: "no, Miss Vicky  has it"

Piper: "is it in my cubby"

Me: "no honey, we gave it to Miss Vicky this morning for the Mother's Day party"

Piper, now screaming incoherently, stomping and flailing around keeps yelling something about the two dollars.  Now, I totally could have fished the five dollar bill out of my pocket and given it to her to get her out to the car...but, I didn't.  Instead, desperately trying to keep my cool, I explained to her once again that Miss Vicky had the money for the party and that it was time to go pick up Sully and Finley.  She nearly refused to leave, until of course, I told her she could stay there and daddy could come back to get her and walked out of her classroom.  It wasn't exactly pretty, but she made her way to the van...she can't pass up a trip to the baby room.

I don't always succeed with staying strong and not giving in, but today I did.  It was one small win against my three year old in a sea of losses, but I'll take what I can get!